smell of fear

caked in this mess 

I cry out in the night.

blood

I am 

war-torn 

and nightmare-driven.

air

Opalescent acrylic paint, spare white cloth 

I transform myself into something new. 

night terrors

old memories 

make it hard 

to breathe today. 

I am not a freak

...gender issues.

canvas 

and medical tape 

and a whole lot of gritting my teeth.

I forgot what I came in here for

forgetfulness is a bitch.

fantasy, a little

sinking into false identities 

neon blue 

and purple grey 

wary gaze. 

dress uniform

I just finished sewing this beast.

3 red stars on my right shoulder, a winged emblem on my left. Brass buttons, and gold epaulets. Oh but the best part?

This motherfucker lights up.

I have not been well

stumbling 

I fall 

into old painful routines.

lily

sometimes things are pretty to be pretty. 

to attract the attention of bees.

today, I braided my hair for the first time in several years. It has been nice.

tsunami

canvas, finished 

paint flung with a dancer's flourish. 

I cradle my head in my hands

and wonder what is wrong with me.

when we go to war

in the dark 

I curse your name. 

rouge

with a long red feather 

a flourish of red ink 

I sign my red name,

sealed with a red kiss.