can't talk it out sometimes

my friend and I

gently discussing the more painful things, 

said, "how would you look if you started self-harming and didn't stop?

if you went past your threshold? how bad would it be?" 

and I cringed 

and kept cringing. 

...disclaimer: these wounds are not real. This was an experiment, once prompted by a visual exercise. "What if your outsides accurately displayed how things *felt* on the inside?" he said. "What would you look like now? What would you look like in 5 years?" 

...and that stung more than I seemed to think it would. 

So the next morning, I found my old theatre make-up, and I tried it out.